Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Dun Dun Dun: The Midlife Crisis - My Story

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At the beginning of the month during My TBR List meme I mentioned that I've in the middle of a midlife crisis. Thanks to those of you that said I don't look old enough but I am and it's happening. Like to hear it? Here we go? Remember that from In Living Color? 

As kid we go to school. They give is career test to show what type of job you will probably be best at. They hold career days. You get to high school and each year the pressure grows for you to figure out what you are going to do for the rest of your life. Something that I really think is ridiculous if you think about it. We tell teens they are still basically kids. We give them curfews. We tell them they are experiencing puppy love because they are too young to know real love. Then in the same breath they have to pick a college that cost tens of thousands of dollars and know what to major in so they can enter into a field for the rest of their lives.

What I am getting at is that by the time we are in high school we think we know what the rest of our lives will be. Perhaps we get to college change our major a couple of times but still by graduation at the ripe on age of 24 we are off with this idea that it's all figured out.

I didn't got right to college after high school. I had things that had been going on during my pre teen and teen years that got me to the point where it took all my energy just to graduate high school. Even though I had little direction I still thought I knew what my life would end up. Years pass and ruts come and go and come back again. Before you know it, you have high school reunions. Uh? What? Where did the time go?

I am in my thirties. Some people get the 30th birthday blues but I didn't. It was just another birthday. It wasn't an omg moment for me. But now as each year pass and 40 is nearing ever closer, I find myself in the throes of a  midlife crisis. Why? Because I am not where I thought I would be in any part of my life. I was supposed to be married with children with a great career. You know the drill.

The reality is. I'm not married. I'm not employed in my field. A field by the way that I thought I would never have picked while in high school. I don't have the house . But the biggie. The thing that started the dundrums, I don't have a child. And my damn biological clock won't shut the hell up. I was thought I would be a mother. No matter whatever happen or may have happen, or would ever happen in my life that was the one constant thing. Now with each passing year the ticking gets louder, the eggs become fewer, and the medical risk become higher. Damn, this thing call life is so unpredictable.

Luckily for me I think I am nearing the end of this phase. Sure some times I get down but I think that is only natural. I had a professor who told us this story about her friend. The point of the story is that it's never too late to do something or have something you always wanted. There is even a quote by George Eliot that says 'It's never too late to become who you might have been'. Remembering that helps and also, funny enough, AARP commercials. So if you are in the middle of a midlife crisis or just feeling down about how your life is right now remember it doesn't have to last forever. There is almost always a bright side.


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